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i think the greatest failure in a friendship is when no one misses “eh, we nvr meet for very long(less than a month) already leh! Lets meet up hor!” or “walao! lets meet up leh. I needa tell you blah blah blah blah…”

and I think tts probably my greatest failure in life. disappointing. out of all things, I had the most confidence in it. only t find out how fragile it can be. major sian. and its not like I’m not making effort. it takes 2 hands t clap.

as much as I am pissed and frustrated w certain people, and on the verge of giving up or try t salvage anything. I reminded myself and understand that the frustrations came from the lack of understanding. the lack of communication. it does not help when only 1 party is trying and the other isn’t.

I have t admit tt it is highly discouraging t face taking the shit tt I don’t deserve when I am making the effort and is truly enthusiastic about meeting those people tt I’ve shun when I wasn’t in my best form.

sometimes I just wanna scream and say tt if I’m down, shouldn’t there be someone who truly cares about our friendship t keep the group going?! doesn’t the years that we went through count?

all theses boils down to- how much does it mean t you for you t make an effort?

after all that I’ve been through I think tt its really sad tt most of the population and perhaps even me myself are guilty of settling with what there is and letting things be when it gets abit more difficult instead of constantly finding ways t keep things together.

I thank god for what I had w sm n carol. we still have our regular stars sessions, dinner sessions, shopping sessions, adventures and fun just like poly days no matter what happened. major efforts on their parts for the past year when I’m not in my best. esp Shumei who always calls me up t talk nonsense, and no matter how fucked up my schedule can be, she’ll always call t check n plan stuff t satisfy our random ideas. thanks babe for the efforts! and we shall have our shopping session soon for my pressie! and the next big thing shall be a concrete plan of a mini gateway w the 3 of us after your hk trip and after you recoup your losses!

thank you for those who did not gave up on me. šŸ™‚

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