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taking me over

i think my emotions finally came back on fri when i went to visit my colleagues.
i wanted to cry so badly when i realised everybody who really took good care of me, treat me sincerely and whom i can really talk to is leaving. and i cant. im stuck for another fucking(must stop the cursing habit) 4 yrs.
i feel so lost. and i really hate this feeling of being deserted.(not that they really meant to).
office politics is really scary and im still not up to it just yet. and sadly for me ive got to learn it fast in order to survive in the company, ive got to open my eyes wider and know where the wind is blowing.
like what my supervisor said, i should be happy for those who quit, theyve escaped hell. but im no saint, im stuck in hell for the time being and i want them in with me.
well well, theres nthing i can do now but be brave.

anyways, i really needa do smthing to my pathetic grades. ive been getting Ds and Cs this sem. this is no good man, no good. i think im gunna bring my books and notes out while i go hse visiting during cny. damn it.

work aside,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FEL! *cues happy birthday song plus all the well wishes and all.
hope you enjoyed your day!(ok, i know you did.) haha.
i gave you lotsa my 1st k. haha.
-sitting by the side of the road with feli in town area doing art and craft for someone in the middle of the night while passerbys and security guards walk past and comment on the master piece the 2 of usve created.
-hitting the staff in paragon’s toyrus with a ball.
-done something so freaking princess-ish and girlish and it still looks so wooolala!
-carry sucha gigantic mirror and box around town for 2 days with feli looking like some crazy asses and secretly feels happy though i kept complaining.
-surprising someone by secretly blowing balloons in the toilet cubicles and throw it out while they groom themselves(feli’s kuku idea) hahaha.

and you know what, i secretly wish you would cry lik tap water so i could see you without makeup. haha, but too bad it din happen.

ok, im darn shag,
gunna hit the sack! ciaos.

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